life update/linkspam of sorts

[nerdflighter]

1. finally got over my self-consciousness and posted to kink_finders. Fingers crossed for fic!

2. I had long, rambly thoughts about how the concept of comphet is fucked up which I posted to tumblr (and at some point I'll crosspost it here.)

3. I found a very #validating post on r/gendercynical, which continues to be better than tumblr.

4. I found this very interesting post on good faith culture as opposed to cancel culture.

5. I am still extremely stressed about finals and it sucks.

6. this Rita Dove poem is freaky and also a screaming yes and kinda perfect about capturing like...late teenage emotions which suck anyway ahem.

7. I want 2 be a cat and the fact that I can't be one is actually the single most important problem currently facing humanity

8. I requested a name edit on tumblr and it is the PRETTIEST THING EVER OML......please love it

9. I wrote up a twitter thread about fandom antis and I still like it

10. I read this article about Emmy Hartman and now I have ridiculous feelings about the internet and how much I love it.

Comments

#4

[hellofriendsiminthedark]

The one thing I would say about the good faith vs cancel culture post is that it's pretty easy to make a dichotomy (for example good faith vs cancel culture, or problematic vs downright cruel) which seems straightforward, but which continues to do nothing but draw lines in the sand which can be misinterpreted by anybody at all. (I got politely called out the other day for doing this in an old post, and it was totally fair lol)

A certain kind of (admittedly "cancel culture"/not-the-best faith) reading of the post would result in positioning "cancel culture" types as being the more-than-just-problematic "cruel" folks that need to be shut down. But in fact, adopting a "cancel culture" mentality is a coping mechanism! It's incredibly empowering to get to the stage where you can establish firm zero-tolerance boundaries, where you can say "no" with conviction, and where you can cut people out of your life without feeling immense guilt or fear about it. However many of us critics of that kind of behavior are people who used to be in that boat and who have since moved on and abandoned that coping mechanism in favor of one with more nuance and charitibility. And it's important to realize that just because one person's temporally linear character development would position another person's locality at a "less-evolved" point on the timeline, doesn't mean that either of those people is necessarily more in the right about their own best interests. Just as "cancel culture" can be bad for some outsiders, non-absolutism can be bad for others, who are using false dichotomies as a way to claw themselves out of a hell of manipulation and submission.

I'm also a little skeptical about the Ted Bundy bit, if only because it's vaguely reminiscent of many superficially prison-abolitionist arguments made by leftists, where they'll say things like "abolish the prison industrialization complex except for rapists/murderers/pedophiles," which is not at all how that works. About Ted Bundy specifically, I have no opinions and generally don't care at all for the wild amounts of discourse around him. However with regards to "criminals" as a whole class, I think it's impossible to laud good faith and non-punitive justice philosophies while also reserving a space for absolute demons who are the "obvious" exception to all rules about charitibility and compassion.

Re: #4

[nerdflighter]

+1 ! i agree w you that theres more to this than a plain dichotomy of good faith/cancel culture and theres a lot be said for having nuance in such situations

i know nothing about ted bundy so im not gonna comment on that dhfksdf

[sylvaine]

I swear to god I've read fic like the one you're looking for @ kink finders (because, like, that's in my top 5 kinks lolol), but hell if I remember where it is. I'll have to see if I can find it again! Really it's a shame that orgasm delay & denial get lumped together, but I feel that way about a lot of things. Categories aren't always useful.

That twitter thread is good! And also made me laugh because "fic readers do not interact". Christ. 😂😂😂

[staranise]

That reddit thread produced the gem "TERFs are the flat earthers of feminism" and I love it so. This is the second time I've seen a good reddit in the last 24 hours (I was previously on Breadtube). Am I going to have to actually do reddit as a thing?

[staranise]

Later on down someone said "I mean they're also generally anti-post modernists, so they think everyone can and MUST be separated into very specific groups" and I swear my brain exploded with how much sense that made, so dammit, I guess I'm getting a reddit account.

[nerdflighter]

GET REDDIT