ack | cw hopelessness

[nerdflighter]

man i really love exam week.........no motivation, extreme distress, procrastination, pain, feelings of guilt and low self esteem............the works. this happens every year around my finals and it's happening this year too and i really, really fucking hate it. i want die. im also too tired to do anything about that.


i uhh. ive been trying to get an adhd diagnosis that would allow me to have accommodations for a long time, and this month - this past month, february, was the one year anniversary of me trying and failing to get a diagnosis and it's just deeply disheartening to know that i'll never have the support i need to succeed in the fields i want to succeed in because theres only so much i can do for myself, and theres only so much support i can get from friends online, and it isnt enough.

Comments

[sylvaine]

*hugs* exams are THE FUCKING WORST and are a big part of why I ditched uni in favour of an apprenticeship. I'm dreading the finals this year, but at least that's only twice, not 6+ times depending how long you end up studying. Do you have a studying process that works for you, and it's only that you fucking hate studying/focusing that much, or is that unmooredness of not quite knowing what to do happening on top, too?

I don't think you'll "never" have that support. I know it seems that way - lord do I know how it seems that way - but things change, they really do! My first attempt at getting a dx failed too because the researcher decided I "wasn't ADHD, just impulsive", then when I went to another doctor he basically went "well of fucking course you have ADHD, oh my god" after one session. Having a disability is bullshit in how much work you have to put into managing it and even convincing people it's real, but it really does get easier with practice and experience.

*hugs again* if you would like advice for How To Make Studying Happen With ADHD, I can tell you what's worked for me (with the caveat that those things may not work for you because different people, different needs).

[hellofriendsiminthedark]

I was able to get accommodations with my school's disability center for extended time on assignments with only a depression diagnosis. Your mileage may vary, but my psychiatrist was good about being supportive and was willing to recommend (to the school) the accommodations that I asserted would help me. On your school's end, it's not actually any of their business what your diagnosis is, so long as a medical professional is saying "there is a diagnosis, but this is what I, the person who knows about the situation, strongly encourage you do to support [individual]."

If you have access to a medical professional compassionate enough to work with your self-asserted needs, it may or may not also be helpful to identify if there are any specific testing conditions which would benefit you to be adjusted. For example, I know lots of my friends have gotten accommodations for extra time on exams, or to not have to use the bubble fill-in sheets because of test anxiety, which is its own valid and bureaucratically-acceptable "diagnosis."