(no subject)

[nerdflighter]

lowkey thinking about how in a lot of D/s fic the Dom is rarely allowed to like...explicitly enjoy what's happening. it's always "oh they like doing this for their sub/friend/partner"...which is nice service tops represent and all of that but like. why isn't there more fic where the Dom is a straight-up sadist and it's fine. where the Dom genuinely enjoys fucking their sub up and it's fine. where it's about the Dom's pleasure as much as the sub's. why isn't that a perspective that is shown and explored because there's frankly so much potential there

Comments

[sylvaine]

Yes this! I wonder if it's at least partially a matter of numbers - from what I've read, it's a known thing that there's more subs than doms.

[nerdflighter]

looks at my friend circle~ that explains a lot actually

yeah and I wonder if it's a manner of internalised kinkphobia? where it manifests as a sort of "it's okay to want to have power taken AWAY, you can't control how you feel" but wanting to have MORE power is seen as suspicious and bad...because of the ways our relationships to power are structured as marginalized people I wouldn't be surprised if that was a Thing I just wish fandom could do better maybe

argh. I guess I'll just have to write pov-top fics like every other content-starved fandomer

[sciatrix]

Yeah, I actually just don't see many dom perspectives period? Which is a huge part of what usually makes me steer very clear of D/s, because spending time riding along in the head of a character in subspace is probably my most reliable anxiety trigger.

My therapist occasionally hints that I might like the aspect of kink shit that involves giving control and playing with trust issues, and I don't have the heart to explain that I apparently find giving control to someone else so incredibly terrifying that I can't access the fantasy of having exactly the thing I want but not having to be responsible for getting it. Responsibility is freedom.

WELLP THAT'S FUCKED UP cool cool thanks brain I'll show myself out now

<3

[nerdflighter]

honestly I totally understand where you're coming from because yeah hypothetically allowing someone else to control me is ~fun~ but I'll be fucked before I trust someone that much, EVER, ya know? I don't LOVE responsibility but it's better than powerlessness and being able to control someone else's actions is much, much better than every other option out there. I like to joke that I'm a top/dom by the process of elimination akfhkjfsf and I'm right

Re: <3

[sciatrix]

yeaaaaaah, you put me in that framework and there's where I am because yeeeeeeeeeeep

Responsibility is such a high of its own, though--that sense of leading and being powerful enough to control and trusted enough to execute that power wisely. Mmmmm. That's some good shit. It does not get written much, though, and I'm not invested enough to try and write it myself.

Re: <3

[nerdflighter]

I am gonna write it :D but probably with OCs because I can't really...do fanfic lately ARGHH

[staranise]

FWIW, A Seditious Affair by KJ Charles is about a D/S relationship that has a moderate amount of dom!POV, and the dom definitely enjoys it, partly because he's a radical working-class activist and his sub is an aristocrat, so it's a good outlet for his "burn the rich" sensibilities.

[nerdflighter]

I read the summary on amazon, and it looks extremely interesting! I'll look into it, thank you <3

[stardust_rifle]

ohmygodholyshityoujustputitintowords.

[nerdflighter]

:D if you're up to talking about it I would love to know how and where you've come across this problem! I personally encounter it almost all the time around ao3 and tumblr so much that it's blurred together fjghdjhg

[stardust_rifle]

I mostly see this around AO3. I don't NOT see stuff from a dom's perspective, but when I do it's usually a dom who's not entirely comfortable with being a dom.

Or it's CG/L stuff, which isn't really my thing.

[nerdflighter]

yeahh I can read cg/l but like. I'd rather not? and then again I really did expect better from ao3 but -_-

[stardust_rifle]

Same.