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I'm thinking about doing a twitter thread on how to interact with minors as an adult in queer/fandom spaces online. To that end, what are some things about interacting with teenagers that you wish you had known before you started doing it / that surprised you / that you'd want other adults to know?

[My favourite response to this question was my friend going 'nothing. I just treat them like normal people' and we laughed a little about it and then I had the somewhat cringeworthy realisation that this is not in fact very obvious to most people.]

Points I already have )

There's going to be an accompanying thread about how to identify predators and how to interact with adults as a minor, too. If you have stuff you'd want to add to that side of the conversation, feel free.

I was going to put another cut here and talk about the things I had for this side, but I am. So very. Sick. My brain cells are firing through mucus, and I've blown my nose so much it's sore, and my headache is splitting my skull. Cheers.
nerdflighter: (pimms)
So for a few days I've been staring down a long-ish fic I'm writing. It's quite fun to work on, when I can get the momentum going, but. It's my first time writing for the Captive Prince fandom and the longest fic I've ever knowingly tackled (this babe will be 5k at the most minimal, conservative estimate) which means I just feel very uncertain about it all the time. I'm not helped by the fact that I don't have any story beats at all, or any knowledge of where this plot is headed beyond the vaguest 'it's kinky'. hell, Damen hasn't even made an appearance yet, 2k in - I've just been focusing on building up and establishing Laurent's relationship to Nicaise. So anyway, this is me talking about this fic in the hope of shaking something lose. Laurent's sexual abuse, and Nicaise's, is pretty much my main focus. there's lots of trauma (fun to write) and bad coping mechanisms (also fun to write). I don't have the details of it worked out yet, but I know that the beginning of Nicaise's abuse overlapped with the end of Laurent's, and that they were used against each other. at the beginning of the fic itself, Laurent has managed to take himself and Nicaise far away from his uncle, and is trying to make them both a life while being twenty years old and pretty fucking poor. Laurent has a job now though, which is better than it was at the start. Cons: his boss is a tiny, abusive old lady who may or may not be relevant later on. At this point I'm just squinting at my screen and trying to plot a route, but since I don't have a plot right now, suggestions for story moments are welcome. Here's a shoddy summary to help you along.
Laurent had been sixteen the first time he saw Nicaise, and he had hated him on sight. Four years later, though, Nicaise is the first thing he grabs while escaping from his predatory uncle. But building a better life isn't as easy as it was supposed to be, not with all the memories still fresh in their mind, and Laurent's uncle at their heels.
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can somebody come onto this post or my inbox and talk about how communities for survivors of violence (sexual/otherwise) are structured? and if you had the ability to design a community for survivors, what would you really want? what features are indispensable and which ones would be amazing to have? I'm working on a website for refugees to connect with other refugees (please ask me about it) and I'm trying to look at the closest analogues that I know of that have established communities - I'm also looking at reddit subs for abuse survivors. I want to know what makes these spaces work, and I want to know how to make them as easy to work with as possible. everything you can give me, please.

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nerdflighter

July 2020

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