(no subject)

[nerdflighter]

I've seen a lot of bad discourse lately, from people I generally respect and admire, about how misandry isn't a real thing and doesn't affect people's lives and so on. This is especially frustrating because we were speaking about a trans man, and I am just...so tired. And so depressed by the way feminism is so resistant to the idea that it can and does cause harm, and that the harm feminism causes in its own name is not justified no matter how, I don't know. Worthy our goals are. It makes me feel bad about calling myself a feminist (queerist, post-feminist). It makes me feel bad about everything. 

I have a tag for talking about the "privileges" trans men have. What I desperately need is validation and people - men and women and NBs - talking about their experiences with misandry. If you have links to such things, or would like to share your own, I would love to hear it. 

Comments

[hellofriendsiminthedark]

I would disagree that non-binary folks are necessarily placed into a "non-men" category, because some afab non-binary folks are viewed as gender traitors when they succeed in "escaping" some of the "confines" or oppressions of womanhood, as inflicted by others.

My example would be how a (in their words) "lowkey non-binary" person living as a cis woman and her cis woman friend told me I had male privilege, despite knowing I was explicitely non-binary and an afab non-man. I think this is because I take the masculine in Spanish and constantly presented as masc/neutral and my classmates couldn't conceptualize using masculine language in Spanish but neutral language in English, so they always treated me like a man all the time.

I would like to note that telling an afab non-man non-binary person that they have male privilege is... literally not misogyny. And yet it's a gendered discrimination based on gender. But "misogyny" is the only allowable word other than sexism, which is also only allowed to be about women and misogyny. And yet those two people were explicitely pointing out my "male privilege" as a way to justify their disdain towards me, which means their disdain for me was rooted in perceived manhood. So what should I call it if the very premise for manhood itself is used to justify unfounded class-wide disdain for men, and it was misdirected at me? It's not misdirected misogyny and it sure isn't misdirected transmisogyny; it's misdirected misandry, and I experienced it when I was denied personhood on the basis of "being a man" (which I wasn't!). (And no, it isn't enough to say it was exorsexism, because the disdain wasn't about being non-binary, it was about being perceived as a man.)