I don't think my friend realizes that my goodwill is in fact exhaustible and it is especially exhaustible when I'm running on empty already. like you can't just keep digging in me for patience and kindness and comfort and give nothing back and expect that to be a sustainable state of affairs.

I wish I had more. but I fucking don't, and I'm TIRED, and if this doesn't end this relationship is going to crash and burn really hard because I only have so much to give and unless they get with that state of affairs really fucking fast I'm going to do something drastic and regrettable

a friend is looking to get over rape related trauma and hopes that reading accounts by real people (of any gender) who enjoy PiV sex would help. does anyone know of such accounts? please give me links xo

pokes my head up from the depths of hell (Mumbai summer) to talk about a take I saw...months back.

( cw discussions of kink and slavery )

today I had an epiphany while posting my fic that the question I was really asking and attempting to answer was "can you write a nonbinary character who does not even realize that they're nonbinary?" and I don't know if I succeeded or what that means but writing this fic was so much fun and I am glad I did.

not as much as usual, apparently

offices can be hell for people whose brains work differently

this tumblr post by star-anise

adolescents display tolerance to ambiguity

the enduring myth of complicated female sexuality

4 gifs I spend a LOT of time thinking about. like.....a lot.

one: this gif from mitski's music video for townie
two: this incredibly tender scene
three: this one, which i first saw while listening to fallingforyou by the 1975 and changed my goddamn life
four: this gif of Dazai Osamu from bsd which gives me indescribable emotions

all gifs lead to my tumblogs. the second one is lightly nsfw

personal update of sorts because I haven't been around much

- I wrote two fics while I was gone, and one of them I'm even proud of. people keep asking me for sequels to this fic where the ADA confronts Mori and I'm more than a little annoyed at that. confronting Mori would be terrible on Dazai's mental health, and not every narrative of surviving needs to be end in 'confronting' and 'punishing' one's abuser, and if you wanna write them feel free but I am not ever going to with this fic not least because people apparently want it so badly. also I put so much of myself into writing Dazai that I'm half him right now, and I KNOW that confronting Mori would be the Very Worst Thing for him, and right now writing Dazai-centric angst would be tantamount to self-harm and I try not to do that these days.

I also changed my ao3 username from nerdflighter to intimatopia

- I've been more active on twitter lately

- I got into the bungou stray dogs fandom and fell headfirst into kinning Dazai Osamu...anyway please talk to me about bsd I have Emotions

I had a therapy session of sorts today (long story) and we came to some conclusions
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